Creating Positive Self-Esteem

My many years of experience as a psychoanalyst and marriage and couples therapist assures me that one of the things therapy does best is to address issues of self-esteem. Low self-esteem is always linked to depression and difficulty feeling in control of one’s life. It leads to marital and relationship problems. These are some of the primary reasons that bring people into my psychotherapy offices in Encino and Sherman Oaks. Although they may not be feeling hopeful when they begin to work with me, it is usually not long before people begin to experience improved self-esteem and feelings of well-being. 

Therapy can raise your self-esteem and give you more of what you want in your life by helping you to:

• Realize that while history cannot be changed, you can draw on your power to create a different life now.
• Experience genuine feelings of well-being by realizing your priorities and accomplishing your goals.
• Improve your marriage and/or important relationships. My experience as a marriage and couples counselor can help you improve your relationship ability even if you are in therapy individually. There is a strong link between self-esteem and successful relationships.
• Learn to meet your own needs.

Many people have wounds from their early life experiences that haven’t yet healed and that influence their lives and the choices they make in the present. These automatic choices often feel so right at the time but in the long run will negatively affect self-esteem. The good news is that adults have the possibility to repair the damage and move on to live more satisfying lives.

Here’s how it works: Psychotherapy can reveal self-destructive patterns of behavior. A trained therapist can be helpful in identifying certain themes in your life which you may not be able to discover through your own efforts. With a therapist, you have the opportunity to change negative self-esteem tendencies and replace them with self-enhancing ones. New connections and patterns form during treatment that can alter the decisions you make in life, the goals you set for yourself and how you relate to other people. In therapy we identify the cues which lead to negative self-esteem. When we examine relationships and their meanings on more than one level, you learn how to succeed in having more of your own needs met.

Feeling successful in work and relationships, having control over the circumstances of your life, and achieving the goals you set for yourself will all enhance your sense of well-being and your ability to be joyful, and as a result will raise your self-esteem.

Encino Family Therapist